Carpe Diem.

Hai Ajeeb , Par Hai Yeh Meri Kahani...

2011-12-24T02:39:00.000-08:00

Zindagi dene waley us khuda ne,

mujh par bhi raham khaya,

Bheja kyun mujhay is jahan mei,

yeh mujhay kabhi samajh naa aaya..

Tere mere daron k bahar

aksar mai baitha karta hun,

Aur kya hai woh jiski hai talaash mujhay

Yehi socha karta hun..

Sochtay he sochtay ,

dekhtay he dekhtay

Aaye tum saamne mere..

Dil ne yeh pehchana ki

ho tum he ho is talaash

ka saahil mere...

Meri kashti ko thikana na diya tumnay

Aur bhej diya andheray samundar

ki ghehraayion mei mujhay..

Kabhi bathatka,kabhi satakta,

dhundhta raha ek naaya saahil

par hua yehi ehsaas mujhay

ki har kashti ke hoti hai

ek he manzil....

Khuda ne mere hawaon ka rukh badla

Aur pahuncha diya ek baar fir

Tere dar mujhay...

Sunaya tujhay jab haal-e-dil

aur haal-e-safar mainay

Toh hua tujhay bhi hua yakeen

ki tu he hai meri kashti ka saahil...

Tufaano ko na manzoor hai mera

tere dar par rehna,

har ghadi jhanjhortay hain ki mai ud jaun,

Aur gum ho jaun us andhere samandar mei...

In toofaano ke yeh pata nahi..

Ki us andhere mei ,mai ab nahi jaunga,

Ki tere saath reh jaunga,

Ya us zindagi dene wala khuda ko

zindi lauta dunga........

Tu he meri arzoo,

Tu he meri zindagi,

Tu he meri ishq-o-ibadat,

Mit jaunga,

Mar jaunga,

Par tera daaman ,

Ab kabhi na chodhunga..

Kabhi na chodhunga...

A new blog !!

2011-01-12T21:45:00.000-08:00

Hi all...Check out my new blog :D

http://mybangalorediaries.blogspot.com

Yeh Dooriyan....

2010-12-21T18:36:00.000-08:00

Kabhi hua yeh bhi
Khali Rahon pe bhi
Tu thaa mere saath,

Kabhi tujhe milke lautaa
mera yeh dil,
khali khali haath....

Hi...

2010-04-03T06:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I posted something here.I was too busy with..uh..life in general.Well,I am back now and I hope to post something new every now and then.

--Azeem

Dil toh baccha hai jee...

2010-01-28T19:40:00.000-08:00

Another Birthday.......

khalbali hai khalbali ,hai khalbali

hone hone de nasha khone khone ko hai kya
ek saans mein pee ja zara zindagi chadha
hai yeh toh ek jashan tu thirakne de kadam
abhi saanson mein hai dam abhi chalne de sitam

aankhon mein hai khalbali
dhadkanon mein khalbali
mausamo mein khalbali
hai khalbali

kaisi yeh tabdili hai
sheeshi botal pee li hai
raat neeli neeli hai
hai khalbali

Missing Oracle..

2009-04-28T06:51:00.000-07:00

Although I never post frequently on my blog,I have a habit following phoenix's,AJ's and oracle's blogs.Its been a long time,since oracle deleted her blog, but still I have a habit of checking the address to see if she has returned to the blogosphere.
It was always nice talking to her and sometimes I really miss her.
Oddly enough I don't even know her real name.
Hope she is happy and doing well,wherever she is.

Feelings Reflected...

2009-04-25T06:59:00.000-07:00

"No,on the surface I seem to have everything,except my one true friend.All I think about when I'm with friends is having a good time.I can't bring myself to talk anything but ordinary everyday things.We don't seem to get any closer,and that's the problem.May be its my fault we don't confide in each other.In any case,that's just how things are, and unfortunately they're not liable to change...."
--- Anne Frank

Birthday Boy....

2009-01-29T00:00:00.000-08:00

Dil hai chhota sa chhoti si aasha
Masti bhare man ki bholi si aasha
Chaand taaron ko chhoone ki aasha
Aasmaan mein udne ki aasha
Dil hai chhota sa chhoti si aasha

Swarg si dharti khil rahi jaise
Mera manna bhi to khil raha vaise
Koyal ki tarah gaane ka armaan
Bijli ki tarah machloon ye armaan
Jawaani hai laayi rangeen sapna

Dil hai chhota sa chhoti si aasha Masti bhare man ki bholi si aasha.........

Sawaal

2008-10-10T13:03:00.000-07:00

Pata nahi is sawaal say kab peecha chutegaa--

"AB KYA HOGA???????????????????"

Random Wisdom

2008-04-03T05:06:00.000-07:00

Then, without realizing it, you try to improve yourself at the start of each new day; of course, you achieve quite a lot in the course of time. Anyone can do this, it costs nothing and is certainly very helpful. Whoever doesn't know it must learn and find by experience that a quiet conscience makes one strong.---Anne Frank

.................

2008-03-30T13:02:00.000-07:00

Tutaa sitara toh mangaa tha rab say,
tujhko hee jaanay wafaa,
Jo tuut jayen taaray tamaam,
mangu wahi bus dua.......

Lord of the Eights

2008-03-24T06:48:00.000-07:00

Doing a tag after a long time..thanx to oracle...Here goes---

Eight things I am passionate about: (In no particular order):

My dreams and aspirations.

My beliefs and convictions.

Family.

Friends.

Visiting places of natural beauty.

Good food,sleep,rain,ice-creams and many more things that make life bearable.

Cracking jokes and making people smile.

Reading books...they are my best friends.

Eight things I want to do before I die (In no particular order):

I wish to be able to provide for my family.

Build a beautiful house at a hill station.

Build a school and hospital for the poor and the needy.

Visit all wonderful places on earth.

Perform "HAJJ"(an annual pilgrimage to be undertaken by every faithful muslim ,who can afford to do so) with my family.

Learn Scuba-diving,horse-riding,rock climbing...all such thrilling skills.

Develop a software or web application which will help me earn millions.

Live my life in such a way that i may be remembered as a good son,brother,friend and co-worker.

Eight things I say often:

"Ailaaaaaaa!"

"Raulaaaaaa kaat diya!!"(U.P. ishtyle)

"Aivayeen...."

"Jab hum keh rahey hain.."(as if i know it all)

"Waah!"

"Maza aa gaya..."

"Er...um...."

"ammi...."

Eight books I’ve read recently:

Inheritance of loss.

The God of Small things.

Lord of the rings.

Like the flowing river.

Eleven minutes.

A Little Princess

The kite runner.

Mein Kampf.

Eight songs I could listen to, over and over:

Ae kaash k hum hosh main ab aanay naa payen...(kabhi haan kabhi naa)

Teri Deewani..(Kailash Kher)

Humay tumsay pyaar hai kitna.

Jaanay Kya dhundtaa hai yeh mera dil(Lucky Ali)

Kangana tera nee..(Dr. Zeus--Under the influence)

Main yahan hun yahan..(Veer Zaara)

Ek tu hee bharosa(Pukaar)

We dont need no education--"Another Brick in the wall"--(Pink Floyd.)

Eight things that attract me to my best friends:

Sense of humor.

Caring.

Reliable.

Understanding.

Modesty.

Helpful.

Strength of character.

Magical bonding.. :)

Eight people I think should do this tag--

Raghav,Abhilasha,Anchal,Any other 5 people who stumble upon my little known blog..(lol)

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while there i was the suspect ..

2008-02-07T23:43:00.000-08:00

How come you always hurt the one you love?

Birthday boy---

2008-01-29T09:21:00.000-08:00

"Bachpan ke din chaar
naa ayengay baar baar
jeelay jeelay meray yaar
jeb khali toh udhaar..
jeee zindagi..."

The Cursor Blinks....

2008-01-25T21:54:00.000-08:00

How easy you think it is to write? If love birds and grey beards only knew. The anxiety and struggle behind each word of true poetry,- and the boredom and insincerity behind the false ones.Hours are spent simply trying to find something to write about. Before double cheese burgers and sphygmomanometers (And to think, I believed the word would never come in handy…), writers preferred to create masterpieces on virgin, unexplored topics,- extraordinary to the novice readers’ minds.
But ever since electronic mail,they’ve moved on to writing books of comic humour; something I tried,- but failed at worse than math; science fiction- the ones with the little green men (like my sis, but really a lighter shade) on; and not to forget romance novels,- the ones with the beautiful, curvy women on the front, with their cleavage showing . All of which I attempted but crashed at. And as you may have guessed already, My incompetence at all of the above things, makes it even harder for me to find a topic worthy of being written about, than for the average author. But I write. Because I need to write. Because I have to write. Because it is in my blood, flowing in my veins, pulsing with the rhythmic beat of every heart beat. Lubb. Dup.
But that doesn’t change the fact that the blinking cursor at the end of this sentence almost puts me in a trance. I don't have the psyche to etch real, pure, unadulterated fiction. Not yet at least. So what else can I write about?
I am sure that you have your own personal philosophy stashed away somewhere in a dark corner of that web-entombed and seldom used brain, to majestically and dreamily narrate to a bored companion in some empty moment.
And I don’t believe that you would really care to know mine.For you are too engaged in living your life to make observations about people, places and the stories behind each of them. To contemplate them in trains and buses, on the way to work; or while picking out the dog hairs that have strayed into your bowl of Kellogg’s; or while watching rain pellet onto the pavement and wonder how many ants have just lost their homes and families.Because you have a life. So much to do, and so little time to do it in. Places to go, with people to meet, and purposes to fulfill. The cursor blinks.Life is fast. Speedy. Maybe even rapid. But always random.
When you were lonely, solace and comfort were a phone call away. It still is. Of course the numbers change.But do they?When you felt a dry throat and a pit in your stomach, you had probably just skipped a meal. What would you know what it is like to be so wrought with emotion that you sit transfixed, blinking into the little dust flakes that conjure out of nothingness in front of your eyes, watching a tiny vertical black line appear, and then disappear just as quickly, taunting you, challenging you to win a game that never started in the first place,- when you look but don't see, and your throat feels stretched like the cord used to hang the wash and tastes sour somewhere deep down?
Did I just lose you in that sentence? I am happiest in my life when I sit still on a cold dark floor, against a colder, darker wall, savouring the smell of the rain as it mixes with overbearing mother earth, inhaling the aroma of fresh coffee, as I hold the cup in both hands and drain out its warmth into my unbecomingly manly palms, to watch a dog run,- run like there's no tomorrow and then collapse panting.I live in small moments. You celebrate - whenever you can. You are the other half of me. You strive with weariness and never seem to cherish the fruit. I seek nothing and I find bliss. You don't know it yet - but in moments when your mind wanders like mine, you and I find each other. And then, you find the bliss you've always seeked.

NEWTON,BENZENE AND HOMO SAPIENS--A LOVE STORY

2006-01-25T23:25:00.000-08:00

have been studying a lot these days and all that I have learnt has messed up.I decided that I should post a few concepts which I have learnt for u guys---1.BENZENE'S LAW OF ACTION REACTION"Whenever a compound containing the benzene ring is visible in a forward organic reaction,the benzene ring is sure to be found as well in the backward reaction"2.BENZENE'S LAW OF INERTIABenzene won't react with anything unless and until an idiot puts some shit into it.3.BENZENE'S LAW OF REMEMBERING KEKULEWhenever u start a reacn.with benzene be sure to remember kekule and say"FU** KEKULE'S A**" so that u get reileved even if the coversion doesnt come out to be right.4.NEWTON-KRAFT REACTION(FRIEDEL KRAFTS BROTHER)Whenever a body of mass m is pushed with a force ,the body will react and say"Watch where are u going sucker"5.NEWTON;S COllILISION ADDUCTWhenever a body collides with another two types of responses are evident--1.If a girl and boy collide--the boy eithr recieves a kiss or a slap.2.The same may be in the case of a boy pair and a girl pair,no one knows whethe they are homo or not.6.HOMO-SAPIENS FACT-FILE1.These are extremely rare (only found on earth) cross breeds of a freakopottamus and the orangutan.2.They pass into coma everyday for atleast two to three hours.3.They have loads of junk fitted into their body,which gives a foul smell if these creatures are dissected.4.They are extremely good at earth-destructive activities.

tagged

2005-09-25T23:11:00.000-07:00

Keeping up with the ritual as the crazy piscean calls it(lol)...heres whta u guys wanna know-Five things i will look for in my fiancee-(actually after seeing the movie salaam namastey..i gave a thought to this)1. She must have a good sense of humor(anyone wud need that to tolerate me).2.She must not have long nails(or else she wud scratch the hell out of me)3.She must be beautiful( as in heart,though good looks are always an added advantage!) .4.She must be working and i wud really prefer an engineer or a doc.5.Must be willing to participate equally(see priety and saif split money on the house rent) towards responsiblities.Five thigs I like to eat-1.Maggi(dont laugh ur heads off ok!)2.Corn flakes3.Biryaani4.Club Sandwiches5.Pizza(and i sometimes secretly eat cerelac too..if get lay my hands on it...lol)Five goals of life-1. To become the best known neurosurgeon of all time.2.To build a house besides a river bank or a beach in Australia.3.To take my mom for Hajj to Saudi Arabia with my own bucks.4.To be the best husband and father in the world.5.To build a society better then the Red Cross.Five things I say a lot-1.Gadhey!2.oops!3.Coolies!4.Ach mein got!(oh my god)5.Wow!!Thank God..i thought this was never going to end...Well..so i pass on this tag to saif and faraz.Wait for my next post and meanwhile try to understand this one-youn to koi tanha nahi hota,chaah kar bhi koi juda nahi hota,mohabbat ko to majbooriyan hi le doobti hai,warna khushi se koi bewafa nahi hota!!

My take on love--posted by anchal...

2005-01-25T23:24:00.000-08:00

I just realized I'm a contributor at Azeem's blog. Thanks a lot for making me a part of your blog though I'd advise you to remove me as contributor whenever you get the time.Okay..So we come to the most commonly discussed topic - love. We might talk about it every now and then,yet, we can never understand it truly.Everyone has his own interpretation of the word "love". While some believe in love at first sight, others might consider a life long friendship as a sign of love and for a few, there's nothing like love on this planet!I'll start with the "love at first sight" types( This whole analysis sounds sooo mechanical but I guess, that what we aspiring engineers tend to do)A guy sitting at a far end of a room.Chilling out and cracking jokes with his bunch of friends. A girl suddenly walks through the door. She's new to the place, unsure of what next to do, her glance falls on this guy, and also for a second they just simply look at each other and forget what's happening around them. (Try looking at someone's eyes directly for just 5 seconds..Believe me) Those few seconds seemed to have set up some tuning , some link between them. Even without having talked or spent some time together to know each other, they believe that its love! Now, for those who consider love as a result of long lasting friendship. Its true that when a guy and a girl are best friends for a long time, they share a unique relationship. The bonding between them is really different and nothing can be compared to that. The comfort level makes them feel free to share their secrets,joys and worries which leads to a relationship of trust and belief. But just because they belong to the opposite sex, does it mean its Love? What if it was the case of 2 sisters? Or just 2 guys who've been langotiya yaar.As far as I know about extremists who don't believe in love at all..They have either been hurt in love before, or ,having heard about the hype surrounding relationships, are too scared to venture into it, or perhaps, they themselves don't realize that they've already experienced some part of it.For these, I just have one thing to say,falling in Love is worth the risk, but just be prepared to do stuff that you'd never imagined you could. Its said love is all about sacrifice- to see a smile on the face of the person closest to your heart. But what about loving yourself? God created us so that we could love others and also, ourselves! Then why does love make us inflict pain on ourselves. I don't mean to ask you to be selfish. Just think about a balanced situation that you CAN handle. Don't overburden yourself and forget your inner voice in the way.Since this post has been quite long already,I'll just end it with this line from a great book-"Love Story"."Love means never having to say you're sorry" P.S. The book is worth reading, and very short too. Though I'd like to know if it made you cry or at least a bit senti in the end..Update: Love can you make do you things you'd never even imagined. And of course, that one smile on the other one's face is just priceless.

tagged-3

2005-01-25T23:23:00.000-08:00

Taggd again by the crazy piscean I have wrecked my nerves working (actually laughing)on this post.So,here goes for u anchal--I Am!!I am love in the face of hateI am kindness in the face of ridiculeI am strength in the face of fateI am patience in the face of the muleI will not run away from fear,I will not run and hide I am bravery,I am pride I will make a difference in this world,big or smallThat is my promise to me , my promise to all!!

Wishing Goodbye..

2005-01-25T23:22:00.000-08:00

Dear Readers of my little known blog,I started my blog in september with just one reader---Anchal and now I have upto 4 readers in 4 months,its quite an achievement considering the crap I write here.But,nothing in this world is permanent and Unfortunately, goodbyes are part of life. But I reckon for every farewell there's another hello that awaits.Its been a long time since I wanted to stop blogging,but the departure of phoenix and some words of advice from anchal just delayed the inevitable.My aim of discovering myself through blogging is a little complete now(thanx to the three tags by anchal) and since i feel i am someone now and need a little more free time to complete my aim i have decided to shut this blog.I may not be able to say goodbye in style but i would to love to let you people read how blogging made me discover the some in me---I am someoneI walked past a dead faceeven though the person was aliveI saw my eyes in the mirrorand cried at the sightI looked at a person I didn¹t knowand I met a friendI got heads to turnwhen I walked pastI learned a lot about myselfwhen I lost a new friendI cried every tear in my bodywhen I thought about loveI got hit badthen got back in the ringI climbed a mountain of rocksand saw an eagle fly over- headI heard terrible things about myselfwhen no one thought I was listeningI realized I was strongwhen I didn¹t cry when it hurtI found out who I waswhen I was with someone elseI thought I was lost foreverwhen a friend found meI held a life in my handand it was my ownI was a pawn in someone else's gameso I surrendered to a brookI walked the fine line between survivingand not wanting to surviveI still amI am someone......!!!So heres wishing all of you a hearty goodbye and a merry x-mas I leave the blogosphere to blog some otherday.Till we bleep again----AdieuAzeem

why??

2005-01-25T23:20:00.000-08:00

Why does it always happen to me?When I love someone and try to exprees my love for her,she says that we are friends and we will remain friends;I mean what the heck do I care for your friendship if you don't understand my feelings?Why does this always happen to us--lovers.

warning--aimless rant ahead

2005-01-25T23:19:00.000-08:00

A month or two have passed since I took up blogging .It came to me as a relief(my little blog) and had me addicted in a few days time. I tried to vent my anger, frustrations and all my opinions about the dub shit I read in papers and was successful in doing so. A little later I tried to find happiness in this new world which gave unlimited freedom of just one thing—the freedom of speech, but as of now I have realized that people like me (read sad, unhappy) cannot find happiness even here.Sometimes I take time to think; when was the last time I stepped out and blurted the whole of my thoughts in front of those I wanted? When was the last time I decided to go and confide in a friend when I was sad? All of it seems years ago.The inevitable unhappiness, the reason for which I turned to this online life of a geek—(forgive me, I am in mood to anger fellow bloggers, the word just seem fit to describe my life now) has started to haunt me again---it flows from all the nooks and corners of the blogosphere.In choosing to lead such a life I feel that I have lost all those things which made me human, now I am more mechanical, a kind of dumb machine which just keeps typing when it feels something, which expresses emotions through silly smileys earlier I used to smile now I just type J and wow!look I wear almost the same kind of smile that most bloggers do(nothing such as a great smile here) and the case is same when I am sad.Do I wish to incite the anger of fellow bloggers by saying all this or is there a greater purpose? I don’t know.Its just that I am angry at myself for becoming so emotionally dependent on faces I have never seen.And, am I giving up blogging? No, I am not; just going to give up hope that there is a place somewhere on earth free from the maladies of the Pandora’s box. And, from now on I have decided that I will use only one thing which the blog provides ----free speech, nothing else.

tagged-2

2005-01-25T23:17:00.000-08:00

Tagged again thanx to the crazy piscean she's the one who tagged me last time too.Before commenting on myself let me quote Peter Seller's(this line aptly describes me--will save u the time of going through the entire post)--"There's no such thing as me.There used to be a me,but I got it surgically removed,now I am nothing" 1.The names Azeem....Mohd Azeem(no 007 suffixed here),I never used a pseudonym or a synonym at the worldwide web because this is the only p0lace wher I express myself freely.There are a hell lotta things which I wudn,t say in public that I keep on blurting out here irrespective of the very little audience that I have got.2.My family calls me by the name of Shanu(uggh!!!cud,nt they keep a better nickname..though i m used 2 it now) ,to my friends i m known as azeem,zeem,proffessor,doctor,mr.know it all and lots more whcih i dont remember and to my enemies i am known as nobody coz i never make any as its my belief this life is to short to hate anyone.3.Let me add something about my education ...I had half of my schooling in an international school in saudi arabia ait was called the international indian school(surprisingly it was affilated to the c.b.s.e) and the other half at Bishop Conrad Bly...apart from a a merit certificate in every class,I have no other outstanding academic achievement and as goes for extra-curricular I hav bagged a second prize in mimicry to my utter surprise in class 12th,the first time I got on stage.Frankly speaking I had stage fright and still shrug whenever I address people from a podium.4.I can't use any suitable adjectives for myself except for great which is the meaning of my name,I did like to tell yu what my close friends think of me.I am considered as a shy,happy-go-lucky kinda guy with a no nonsense attitude,I have helped people whom I dont know out oif certain spots so they have labelled me as some sort of messiah(makes me wish i never helped them out).5.About my love life,I dunno whether I had one but I used to be in what I supposedly thought was to be love with a great friend of mine who incidentally considers me as her enemy no.1 nowadays(girls!!!!someone plz write a post on how to understand them),apart from her I never had a crush on any other girl and some of my friends labelled me as devdas for not trying to go out with another gal,although i always had the oppurtunity to do so.I must clarify here that i am no devdas and still havent met any girl whom i did get serious with,coz i ndont believe in going on dates just for the sake of fun.6.I have a peculiar taste of dressing,sometimes I luv tyo dress asa a commoner,sometimes I dress elegantly and rather pompously.I have a collection of clothes ranging form palika bazaar to raymond's and pro-vogue(hee hee).I love black tees and shirts and thats one thing which makes people thing that I am die-hard SRK fan apart from my email id dedicated to him,though I must go on to say that he remains no more of importance to me.7.Food....recently i turned vegetarian..reason I dunno...currently i m feasting on all sorts of veg dishes..anyway i had written about five of my favorite dishes in my earlier tagged post,I am just writing this to watse cut down to 20.8.I am a voracious reader and gobble up any kinda book thrown at me,my favs include harry potter,the catcher in the rye,agatha christie,enid blyton and erich segal.Apart from reading,I luv watching cartoon network and disney channel and my favorite show is Tom and Jerry.And I do like F.R.I..E.N.D.S..9.My ambition is to be a Doctor,recently I was disillusioned and decided not to be a doctor,but as you know I am sticking to it again.10.I am a boring kinda person,people whether girls or boys get bored usually when I talk but i have still got friends,reason I am a good listener,I keep on listening to anyone who wants to blurt out anything,but i do not do the same,i write here where I express myself more confidently.11.I am concerned about the future of Muslims in the world as fanatics such as osama bin laden are discreditting our peace loving religion,I wish that we were not looked uopn as terrorists everywhere,just to improve these conditions I worte a lenghty post about the doubts concerning islam and muslims,hope i sent out the right message.I have experienced discrimnation due to religion and though I am angry that i am bieng discrimanted against by a few due to no wrong of mine,I do not go about blowing up places instead pray for those who discrimnate so that they do not face the wrath of God who created us all.Let love and peace prevail.12.I have taught english at a school for the underprivleged in Nainital where I went to spent a vacation by the hill -side instead I found myself laughing and playing with those whose eyes speak a lot and who do not know whenthey wud be able to look after themselves...Please stop for a momment and think...Every year we celebrate festivals with great pomp and spend a lot of money in doing so,we send sweets to those who can afford it but never think of these poor children and people who have not seen the joy of any festival..its my most sincere and humble appeal..next time u people go out for a vacation or spend loads at festivals jsut think of those whose share God chose to give you and odn contribute towards ther welfare,either monetarily or as I did by spending a delightful vacation teaching wonderful kids.13.Thirteen is regarded unlucky by many,so here I shall speak about my luck.I have been lucky throughout my life,I got parents whom I love very much,I am able to give--a privelege which not person has and I have scraped good marks in all my exams by just studying day before the exams.However,there have been times when I felt lady luck failed me,times such as when I failed to take my father to the hospital in time to save his life,when I failed to say I love u Dad for the first and the last time and when I failed to fail.14.At the age of fourteen I had started mingling with the opposite sex,a unique experience on its own for i met angels,friends and bitches equally amongst them.One thing I have come to know is that there is no way to understand women,very versatile personalities they are.15.Some people say I am to serious for my age,but i feel that I have also been the same,I think a lot and spend about 12 hrs a day alone with myself,sometimes while I drive or ride my thoughts have come over me and I have had brushes with death due to this.Hope my mom doesnt come to know about it.16.I cant tie my shoe laces...i m not joking..my mom ties them for me everytime and once my best friend ankita had volunteered to do so, which the gentleman inside me didnt permit her to do so.I love her for volunteering to do so,its one gesture of friendship that I treasure.17.17th september is ankitas b'day,and its the only b'day I ever remebr coz if I don't I am sure to be hit hard on the head.18.Thats when i got the right to vote,anyway not a gr8 thing to mention but i will never exercise my franchisse i think.19.er...??I have run outta things to write,I am such a crackpot.20.I dedicat this post to my friend deepa,anchal and ankita.

A special gift

2005-01-25T23:16:00.000-08:00

A Special Gift....
I sit asking myself what I have to offer,and just what gift is worthy.So I give to you something special to me.Not a material object to be looked at or used,but rather a place where one can rest easyand drift into serenity.Close your eyes if you will and take your thoughts to a placewhere light dances across clear blue lakesand enchanting evergreens offer shelterand blue skies bring the warmth of the sun.Where a song is whispered to you from the doves high above,and the scents of the flowers ease your mind.Here in this special placeyou have wings to flyand float on warm gentle breezes.And you can see a vast array of colors burninginto the distance.Here you are at one with the angelsand you can be at peace in your heart.For if you can see my special place,it is yours to call home and you can always close your eyesand return again.So please take my humble offering,and go there often,knowing that in my heartI am with you in a place in my mind.This is my gift for you,as you are my special friend.

i still luv u..

2005-01-25T23:14:00.000-08:00

Amid all this soppy nostalgia you come to me like a breath of ice cold air, freezing my lungs in a minute of sordid breathlessness that quite suspiciously lasts for centuries of longing.When the dust of sudden upheaval settles and I’m sure my roots have been firmly fixed in my neighbour's soil, I see you at the end of my street with bright shining aubergines in your hand. It’s amazing how at home you seem. In a country you’ve never been too, with vegetables you've never tasted, among flowers you’ve never smelt and thorns that have never stung you, in my warped and brinjal-fixated mind, you seem to almost belong.I stare at your face for a whole minute, then shut my eyes and let the memory wash over me. The softness of your skin in unexpected places, in contrast to the rigidity of the calciated bones it is set upon. The crease on the side of your mouth as it bears a rare half-smile, your face attempting to form a dimple, but creating something so much more tasteful, a pastel depression of grace. The tautness of the muscles in your neck and back that morph so smoothly with every little movement of your waist. The spot on the centre-right of your nose that shines a little even in the sternest weather.The furrows in your forehead when you pretend to think really hard, the change in the fixture of you eyeball when you really do. The way the hollow in your cheek fills out perfectly when I press my face against yours.You are an idea, a word, a cloud of condensation. Something about you is of great comfort to my soul. I have lived my life as a gypsy, wandering from place to place, stealing affection for a living with a single tinkling anklet and weathered golden tarot pack for company. Suddenly you are no longer a person, but an ideology unlike Marxism, a philosophy unlike Stoicism, a concept averse to lust.You are a constant, unchanging, like the promise of rain to farmers no matter how long or severe the summer is. There is the hope of permanence, intransience in you. You are the taste of fried brinjal, rolled about in my mouth by a mischievous tongue; the sticky sweetness of orange juice that trickles down the side of my lips.You are the warmth of 100% cotton socks, the smell of fresh laundry, the limpid coolness of a furry ball of affection between my fingers. You are the tingly sensation in my nose before I sneeze, the last contented sigh that escapes my lips before I drift asleep, bundled in a thousand blankets.You are the blurr around a star when I stare too hard at a clear night sky. You are the first drop of water that saunters down my cheek, the knot in my chest that unravels with grated speed as I weep unabashedly in the rain.You are the joy of sudden warmth to my feet when I get out of bed in the morning, the quiet swelling of my heart with satisfaction from brushing my hair from root to end.You live in every flick of my wrist, every twist of my ankle; I know when my tongue hits the roof of my mouth, I am touching you. I carry you in my heart everywhere I go, from Delhi to Jeddah to Bareilly, you are another arm with a silver charm bracelet, a head to my tail, a second pancreas, another bubble in my blood-flow, a permanent half-smile upon my lips. And in return, you carry my heart around in your pocket. Just don’t get lint on it!!!!